Accused double murderer Beau Lamarre-Condon has blamed fear of his potential fate in jail for his failure to call police after two men were fatally shot with his pistol.
Cross-examination of the 31-year-old continued on Monday as the former officer gave his version of how Jesse Baird and Luke Davies were fatally shot at a Sydney home with his police pistol in February 2024.
Lamarre-Condon has pleaded not guilty to the two murders, claiming the men were killed in self-defence.
Crown prosecutor Brett Hatfield SC grilled the former senior constable on why he chose not to immediately go to police.
"I had a huge moral dilemma," Lamarre-Condon told the NSW Supreme Court jury.
As a police officer behind bars, he could be stabbed or killed and those events had already come close to happening after he was remanded in custody, he said.
He became visibly rattled as Mr Hatfield asked whether he was giving serious answers to the questions.
"I don't find this funny. I don't think this is a joke," Lamarre-Condon said.
Mr Hatfield suggested he appeared calm while buying a second surfboard bag after the alleged murders.
Lamarre-Condon said he learned dissociation from traumatic events while working as a police officer and his detached appearance on CCTV footage did not mean he hadn't been crying earlier.
"Jesse was someone I did care about as well, so I was very emotional," he said.
Both men's bodies were found in surfboard bags near a rural monastery when they were located by police days after the deaths.
Earlier on Monday, Mr Hatfield took Lamarre-Condon through his claimed struggle with Mr Baird in the now-deceased man's Sydney terrace.
Lamarre-Condon previously claimed he shot Mr Baird in the shoulder as the victim was coming at him with a knife.
The pair then struggled and fell to the kitchen floor when the gun accidentally discharged, hitting Mr Baird in the head, the ex-cop said.
"It's the case, isn't it, that you executed him by that second shot?" Mr Hatfield said.
"I never executed Jesse Baird," Lamarre-Condon said.
The 31-year-old repeatedly physically motioned in court to show the jury how the alleged struggle played out.
At one stage, he put down rosary beads he was carrying to demonstrate his purported actions.
He has admitted responsibility for Mr Baird's "unintentional" death.
Despite there being a lot of blood, Lamarre-Condon said he did not know the other man had been shot through the head.
He claims he then put Mr Baird into a recovery position, called triple zero and headed outside to try to flag down a passing ambulance.
On the way out, he said he saw Mr Baird's new partner Luke Davies blocking the way while holding the pistol.
The 31-year-old told jurors he put his hands in the air and told Mr Davies he was not there to hurt him.
But Mr Davies aimed the gun at his head and the pair struggled, leading to the firearm accidentally discharging again, according to Lamarre-Condon.
The bullet went through the other man's head, lodging into the bedroom door behind him, he told the jury.
"It discharged at his face. That obviously was never the plan," Lamarre-Condon said.
The Crown alleges Lamarre-Condon shot Mr Davies through the door as the latter man was calling triple zero in order to eliminate a witness.
Prosecutors allege the former officer staked out Mr Baird's house for several hours to wait until only his ex was left inside.
However, Lamarre-Condon claims he thought nobody was home when he went inside to try to recoup some belongings while disguised as an Uber Eats delivery rider.
The trial continues.
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Australian Associated Press
