Why these simple cruise-ship dishes taste better than fine dining

If I could design the ultimate cruise meal, it would be a feast of all-time classics. Not the fanciest fine dining, nothing curated by a celebrity chef, just the dishes that tell me I'm cruising. It's more about the ritual, from the moment I sit down at the table and switch into cruise mode.

Every dinner starts with a basket of bread, from fluffy focaccia to crunchy breadsticks. They're freshly baked on board each day by a hard-working baker, so it would be rude to say no.

Second course: prawn cocktail. Not my favourite, but it's been a cruising tradition since the 1950s when chilled shrimp (in America) was regarded as luxurious. Ironically, it has almost disappeared from many restaurant menus on land, but it survives at sea because cruisers love traditions.

Third course is escargot, drenched in herbs and hot butter. Most ships serve this delicacy in the main dining room, providing many Aussies with their first taste of snails. All you can taste is garlic, so give it a go.

Fourth course would be French onion soup with a melty top of gruyere cheese. For some reason, cruises always have excellent soups (must be the salty air and sea).

Lobster for the fifth course. This is usually presented on the first night to impress passengers from day one.

Cruise-ship steakhouses are also sensational, so choose the filet mignon or rib-eye. This sixth course is served alongside an assortment of sides such as mashed potato, potatoes au gratin and truffle fries. Yes, a trio of spuds. And don't miss the creamed spinach. Worthy alternatives are osso bucco or lamb shank.