Trigger warning: this story contains stories of attempted suicide. If you need help contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.
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Blake Collins would normally describe himself as a "happy go lucky guy who loves to have a laugh and joke".
The popular footballer from Lithgow in western NSW said people who know him would say he is "outgoing, with a love of sport and banter".
But one day that started to change.
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"My whole mindset changed and I had noticed I wasn't the same happy, smiling guy I used to be...I would always be drained and stressed and overthinking," he said.
"No matter how happy I seemed, my mind would always tell me different so it had been a struggle."
In October 2021 Mr Collins' mental health had been deteriorating to the point where he considered taking his own life.
At the time, the local rugby league player and former Lithgow Bears coach felt as if he had no one and that no one cared.
Over the years, Mr Collins let a lot of things build. He is someone who doesn't like to talk about his emotions.
"I just cop it on the chin and try to just move past it, so I guess it just builds up and never goes away," he said.
"I definitely could feel myself getting worse; I wasn't enjoying sports, I stopped doing things I loved such as hanging out with my mates and making excuses to stay home and just breaking down in my bedroom with the door closed.
"I started not being able to sleep of a night, I'd be lucky to sleep maybe four hours a night before going to work every day and that also took a toll on my mental health."
His breaking point came during COVID-19 when he lost his licence.
"I had way too much time sitting at home overthinking things and falling out with friends because they didn't know what was happening at the time...I would always try to be there for everyone else and make everyone else happy, I didn't even realise I was also needing to look after myself and make myself happy," he said.
"I felt as though I would be doing myself and everyone else a favour by not being around but now I know that wasn't the case and it was just my mind making it seem that way."
Mr Collins said his journey with mental health has been up and down and it was difficult when he didn't know services were available to him.
"I realised I have been bottling things up over time which has really taken its toll on me mentally and physically," he said.
Without proper promotion of mental health services for residents over 25 in the Lithgow region, Mr Collins is one of many who have first hand experience of what can happen when there is no support.
"In all honesty, I didn't even know there were any services in town that you could go to for help," he said.
"I had been to a couple of the 'Walk N' Talks' but other than that, I wasn't aware of any services in the Lithgow area."
Mr Collins said he never once thought about talking to anyone because he felt "weak and embarrassed".
"I just felt a guy like myself who's generally always happy should not feel this way and I just kept brushing it aside until one day it just all got too much," he said.
"Men stay silent because we feel weak, we feel like we should be strong and be able to deal with everything on our own.
"There's definitely still a stigma about men speaking up."
Since then, he has been getting help from the mental health department in Katoomba, a 40 minute drive away from his Lithgow home. Otherwise, Mr Collins has been opening up to his mates.
"They call me regularly to check in on my mental health," he said.
"I do notice the signs lately, ever since the day I tried to commit suicide it's become more apparent and I have become more self aware of the signs and immediately contact my best mate when I feel that way."
Mr Collins described the Lithgow Community mental health team as "lovely and easy to talk to" having spoken with them via face time and phone calls three times a week before seeing a GP in Portland who once was a mental health carer.
Finding something you are passionate about can really help your mental health, and Mr Collins found that with rugby league.
He has been playing since he was five years old and has coached the Lithgow Bears in previous seasons.
"Rugby league has honestly been one thing that has saved me, it's the one thing that makes me feel good about myself. It takes my mind completely away from everything that's going on in my head and it's been a massive life line for me in the past few years," he said.Mr Collins' advice to anyone who was struggling with their mental health was to speak up.
"Reach out because there's always someone there that cares. Do it before it's too late. Seek help...you will appreciate it and everyone who loves and cares about you will also be super thankful and grateful you are still here with them," he said.
"I have a lot of great support around me now with friends, family, work and sporting team mates. So that has been overwhelming and I can't love and appreciate everyone enough."
If you or someone you know is in need of mental health support contact your GP or call one of the phone support services available.
- Mensline Australia 24 Hour phone advice 1300 789 987
- Beyond Blue 24 Hour advice 13 00 224 636
- 24 Hour Mental health Access line 1800 011 511
- Lifeline Australia 24 Hours 13 11 14 (Crisis support and suicide prevention)