CALLING all those in their early 30s!
How are your savings looking?
Nice and hefty, right?
Because according to the experts, by age 35 you should have twice your salary saved for the future.
Yep. Take your salary, double it. See all those zeros? They should set aside for your future self right now.
Don’t be alarmed if this seems somewhat completely impossible – the Twitterverse agrees with you.
And in the way only the internet can, it’s taken what could be a moment of pure panic and turned it into something beautiful.
Twitter users have shared their own “achievements” to reach by the big 3-5.
Some are funny, some are concerning – and many are about as realistic as having twice your salary in your savings.
We’ve collected just a handful of the Tweets flooding the internet right now, below.
Take a look and then tell us: What’s your “by age 35” goal?
By age 35 you should have a huge box of cables but you can't throw them out because you're pretty sure you still need a couple of them but you're not sure which ones— Lori G 🌸 (@LoriG) May 19, 2018
By age 35 you should have an entire cabinet filled with Tupperware containers. That don’t match. Just a bunch of random bottoms and tops that come cascading out on you every time you open the door.— Danielle H (@FoodosaurusRex) May 22, 2018
By age 35, you should have figured out how to spell “bananas” without having to mentally sing Hollaback Girl— Jon "Jon Baker" Baker (@JonBaker) May 20, 2018
By age 35 you should run into friends and say "WE SHOULD HANG OUT SOON!" twice a week. You will never hang out. You'll just scream this at each other until one of you dies.— Luke Trayser (@trukelayser) May 20, 2018
By age 35 you should have reached that stage of time confusion where you're convinced the 90s was only 10 years ago.— Jen Williams (@sennydreadful) May 21, 2018
The ones that make you think
By age 35 you should have accepted that capitalism will slowly suck the life out of you while the business owners grow wealthy beyond reason on the backs of their workers, retirement experts say.— Existential Comics (@existentialcoms) May 22, 2018
By age 35, you should have had several sizeable epiphanies that utterly reoriented your entire sense of self and set you off on the course you were meant to follow, rather than that of a dominant parent whose hopes and dreams you swallowed whole and mistakenly took for your own.— Mark Antony Owen (@MarkAntonyOwen) May 23, 2018
The food goals (and subtle marketing)
By age 35, you should have eaten at least 2x your weight in guac.— Chipotle (@ChipotleTweets) May 22, 2018
Research suggests you should have approximately 29,200 donuts saved for retirement by age 35— IowaStateU Police (@ISUPD) May 22, 2018
The historically accurate
By age 35, you should have gained, lost and regained 1 imperial throne, conquered not 1 but 2 other empires with Roman credentials, turned the greatest church in the world into the greatest mosque, beaten Dracula, married 5 times & written a little poem, retirement experts say. pic.twitter.com/dtZMQgTait— Peter Sandham (@HKSandham) May 21, 2018