It was a tense stand-off. I wanted the shirt but not at the price she was asking. She wanted to sell it to me but not at the price I was offering. Frowns all round until I deployed my secret weapon: the down-down dance.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
or signup to continue reading
A well-practised routine of heart clutching, face pulling, sighing and mock sobbing soon had an audience, drawn by the theatre of it all. After 10 minutes I had the shirt at the price I wanted as well as a playful poke in the tummy from the stallholder. "You happy Buddha now," she beamed. And then tried to sell me another shirt.
One of my all-time favourite things about travelling in Asia is bargaining in local markets. Ubud, Shanghai, Penang, Ho Chi Minh City, Mumbai ... I've done them all and every time the down-down dance has not only secured bargains, it's crossed cultural bridges and broken through language barriers.
More importantly, it's made total strangers laugh, brightened up otherwise dull days for the shopkeepers. I'll never forget the uproar in China many years ago when the stallholder clocked my cheekiness as I performed my routine. "Naughty man! Naughty man!" she laughed as she spanked my bottom. I secured the porcelain souvenir at the price I wanted and the small crowd which had gathered applauded.
I can't understand why so many Western travellers head for the fixed-price stores, preferring a quick and soulless transaction to one which requires a bit of argy-bargy and human interaction. They're missing the fun of an ancient human game and its connection and humour.
Like this exchange in Petaling Street in Kuala Lumpur:
"You want $20 for that fake Rolex? Come on, who are you trying to kid?"
"But sir, it's quality, authentic fake."
I didn't buy the watch but had a good chuckle with the stallholder.
Over the years, the down-down dance has become integral to my very own art of the deal.
First up, display mock anguish - clutching the heart is a good starter - at the first price tapped out on a calculator. Take the calculator and respond with 40 per cent of the price. Look at the counter offer and reject it. Slowly raise your offer. When that's rejected, start motioning towards the floor. Clutch heart again. Bend the knees. Lower, lower. Smile. Watch the stern expression begin to dissolve. Clown some more. Dance the swim, repeating "Down, down". Begin to walk away. Be called back.
Win!
Bargaining not only works overseas. I've had success in Australia without resorting to the down-down dance.
A few weeks ago, a new drone caught my eye at a major retailer. Told the asking price, I put on a grave expression. "I doubt the minister of finance, who's shopping up the road, will approve," I told the sales assistant. "Can you do any better?" He did, significantly. I returned shortly after and the deal was done.
He was happy. I was happy. And knowing there's room to move on the asking price in that store, I'll no doubt return.
Bargaining. There should be more of it.
HAVE YOUR SAY: Do you enjoy bargaining? Do you have techniques that work? When shopping at big retailers in Australia, do you ask for a discount? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au
SHARE THE LOVE: If you enjoy The Echidna, forward it to a friend so they can sign up, too.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
- Former NSW MP and families minister Gareth Ward will spend years in prison after being found guilty in July of sexual intercourse without consent and three indecent assaults following a NSW District Court trial.
- More people are dying from flu than COVID-19 in Australia in a disturbing turning point for the nation's health.
- Australia's first treaty legislation has been passed, marking a historic milestone following a late-night parliamentary debate in Victoria.
THEY SAID IT: "Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position." - Christopher Marlowe
YOU SAID IT: Jenna wrote about her pet hate, the poo dogs leave behind and their owners who don't it up. Oh, and pets in general.
"Oh, Jenna, what a jaundiced view of pets you have," writes Elaine. "And it is obvious you do not live alone or you might think differently. For those of us who do live alone, our pets are a living sentient being to share our home (or in the case of cats, the home is theirs, we merely serve their needs). But I agree wholeheartedly about the need for dog owners to pick up poop when walking their precious pet."
Tom writes: "There are some good arguments for having a pet. One is to relieve personal loneliness. Another is to have another happy smiling face in the house. Yet another is to give kids a chance to learn about empathy and responsibility. The arguments against are if you can't afford a pet, if you can't give it a life that fits with its basic nature, or if you impose loneliness on it. Or if you're cruel or stupid. You could make similar arguments about having kids."
"I can't agree more with Jenna," writes Helen. "Had dogs all my life and for the kids and all of them attended dog training along with family owners! We loved and grieved our pets when they died but recognised that not everyone loved our pets the way we did so kept them on leads and under control when out and kept the cat confined to our back yard. Many pet owners do show responsibility and many more simply don't care at all - and will actually abuse you if you say something no matter how politely it is phrased"
Lorraine writes: "My dog is my best walking buddy, listens to my every word, and the look of love on his face every time he sees me, just melts my heart. He makes me so happy. Picking up poop is just part of dog ownership. Down side? Going on holidays and having to leave him behind. Oh, and Jenna, I think it's time you got another dog!"
"I have owned dogs all my life; however, I do not enjoy stepping in dog poo, nor do I enjoy dogs jumping on me," writes Liz. "As a wildlife carer, I know if I can't get antibiotics into a bird with a cat bite, it will die overnight. The majority of dog owners give me a bad reputation which is extremely annoying as I am, and have always been responsible in training, and vigilant in cleaning up after them. I suggest pet ownership should be licensed following an aptitude test."
Paul writes: "Thoughts and prayers with you - I'm sure you'll be getting a few reactions. You forgot to mention that if you do happen to get dog poo on you, no amount of hand washing prevents the smell from lingering."
"Does it follow that our horse owners should also do the same - when the animal which they astride poops on our sacred planet or is it considered a near-royal privilege not to do so?" asks Catherine.
